Apr17

Taking it how it comes…

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Taking it how it comes…

Transcending

I don’t know what it feels like to fly. I can only imagine.

I don’t know why these thoughts spark at times random.

To truly be free? Right here on earth?

Then I’ll testify that when fear is cast aside and self removed from worry,

that on my own strength I won’t make it.

That when I acknowledge The Maker. And place my dreams in the hand of He who can take them.

I mean, take me higher.

Than I could ever conceive. Then I don’t dream.

I SOAR.

And know– that I know– that I know through God’s power.

Truth inspite of doubt.

Assurance of success at that which makes Him proud.

At that which shines His light

In the world.

Dissipates darkness and communes with spirit.

Better than flight.

This unnatural joy when I

Write.

 

©P.Brooks

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Mar20

Prayer of Submission

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Prayer of Submission

Lord, please help me hold my tongue today

So I don’t say what I ought not say

God help me keep from rolling my neck

When I have mind to disrespect

ANYONE

Who even looks at me wrong

Since they don’t know what’s going on

In my life

It’s not all strife

And I know better than to say

All is lost when things don’t go my way

For you said bless instead of curse

And I knew a time when stuff was worse

But not now

I have breath left yet to sing

Even without a diamond ring

Even without a pot to pee

I can still bend my knee

And bow my head

To you God

It’s not too hard

Yet I fail to follow your request

I’d do my best but come up short by using some excuses

What would I do if it were you who decided to throw up deuces?

Stop breathing

Stop existing

Stop my scheming and resisting

I’d embrace my destiny

…So here I am now

Lord send me.

©P.Brooks

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Feb3

Tit for Tat

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Tit for Tat

So we are hanging out at a super bowl party this weekend. Should be fun. I love football and in a different life, I’d play the game and be that super fly wide receiver, for sure. But Eric tells me that the girls who play in our neck of the woods are way bigger and meaner looking than me. “I don’t know P,” he said. “You might get hurt.” Tough as I wanna be, I read an article about a local women’s league and decided he was probably right. So this weekend I’m just going to enjoy the game (and the commercials). Then next date is my pick. It’ll be frilly and pink. I like Fugosa for a little wine tasting and dinner. Now E’s no wine connoisseur but if I promise some nearby shopping afterwards, he’s in there!

Our date nights and evenings devoid of children help keep our marriage interesting.  What keeps your relationship spicy? Share.

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Jan12

When I Stop And Think It Over

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When I Stop And Think It Over

During Mama’s funeral I begged God for mercy. I fully understood all the reasons she had to go. But it was so painful thinking of a world without her. A world she had softened for me (all that she could), a world made better when I thought of her, went home to her, embraced her.

From day one all I can remember is my grandmama loving me, teaching me and showing me everything for this life. She even introduced me to the man himself so I’d have everything for eternal life. I would never wish her to suffer here and I do believe to be absent of the body is to be with Christ. But I hurt because she was gone and because I was still here.

I cried because I had grown up in her home, under her watchful eye and in her love. I had a rich and wonderful childhood even though we didn’t have much material stuff. And it’s not to say we had nothing or that I ever went hungry. No. She worked and God provided. I wept when I realized that I was blessed many times over by having my grandma who acted as a mother and a father, because she was truly that. I didn’t cry because I disappointed Mama in my rebellious years or when I was simply disobedient. I cried because she knew all about me and could have guessed even worse that I’d done. Yet knowing me she still hoped out loud, the best things for my life. Mama prayed for me and continued to love me regardless of my faults.

No one has ever affected me like that woman. Never, never a hurtful or discouraging word from her. Later she even admitted her own mistakes and regrets to me as if I were an equal and guided me to the point where I am today. After grieving I realized that if my grandma being human could love me like that, so wholly and completely, then how much more does God love me? I think that was her point all along. Now I get it. So no more tears. Just joy.

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Jan10

Back To The Lab

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Back To The Lab

The new year is in full swing and before it gets too far, I think I’d better get some goals down on the internet. I don’t know if having an audience (even of one) can shame me enough into sticking to the list, but I’ll try anything.

1. Come out of the closet. Did I get your attention? I’m a christian and proud of it.

2. Glorify God through my work. More faith based novels, poetry and children’s picture books are on the way!

3. Study the craft. I have a ton of books about writing on kindle and one I checked out from the library.

4. Trust God. Sometimes fear of failure keeps me grounded. It’s time to step out on all fronts.

5. Play with the kids more. We had fun over Christmas break so we are starting family game night and more baking together. Yum!

6. Even more couple time. We have just discovered that we can meet for lunch while the kids are in school. Yeah!

7. Pray about everything and worry about nothing. Think I stole that from Yolanda Adams’ Morning Show,  but it’s so appropriate. Everytime I go to God he answers.

8. Eat less junk and more vegetables. I need to get my 5 to stay alive.

9. Walk more. It’s my thing. Just makes me feel good!

10. Read. Nothing like a good book. The Bible is definitely included in that list! Some blow your mind passages in there. Thanks God.

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Nov7

How I Can Tell The Kids Are Growing Spiritually

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How I Can Tell The Kids Are Growing Spiritually

Setting: The kids and I were having storytime afterschool one day when suddenly Orion passed gas. That lead to an interesting debate between me,  him (5) and his 6 and 7 year old sisters.

Orion: Excuse me.

Me: Excuse you for bumping my arm or did you just poont?

Orion (nonchalantly): I passed gas.

Me (leaning away from him): Orion! Oh my goodness!

Orion (angry): Well I said excuse me. Everybody poonts, Mommy! Including you and Daddy! So why are you acting like that?

Me: Cause you stink, that’s why!

Lauren: Daddy poonts? I have never heard Daddy poont. I don’t believe he does that.

Lainey: Well, Mommy sure does. She stinks too.

Me (nodding): It’s true. I have. Orion’s right, everybody does it. Including Daddy, Lauren.

Orion: See!

Lauren: Does God poont, Mommy?

Me: Uh…

Lainey (smirking): What about Jesus?

Me (thinking out loud): Well maybe when he was here on the earth in human flesh… because that’s what our bodies do. But he’s gone now, right? So not anymore.

Lainey: Yeah, he’s in heaven now. I wouldn’t poont if I was in heaven.

Me: Me neither, Lainey.

Lauren: But does God poont?

Me: I don’t think so, Lauren. They are not human like we are. So why would God do that? I don’t think he would go around lighting up heaven when he can keep it nice with fresh air. No. God, Jesus and the angels definitely do not poont.

Orion (walking around): Well I know for sure that Abraham poonts up there.

Lauren: Abraham Lincoln?

Orion: No, Lauren! You know, Abraham from church.

Me: Are you kidding me? We just said nobody is poonting up in heaven, Orion!

Orion: How do you know? I still think Abraham does. I bet he walks around poonting everywhere. (Orion wiggles his butt like a turkey and makes a pff,pff noise.)

Me: You mean like you do?

Everyone: laughter.

***************************

Those kids crack me up. They also question everything and challenge me. Here are some of their other mysteries:

Does God like chicken nuggets? If God made everything who made God? Does God sleep? What is the Holy spirit? I don’t mind answering.

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Sep9

Once Upon A Time

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Once Upon A Time

It was 18 years ago, today. I was 18 years old. I wish I could say I knew then that he was the one. But when he introduced himself I was smug. Trying to pretend that I was neither affected nor concerned and that I would remain indifferent if he sat beside me or if he moved past. As I already possessed the knowledge of good and evil; garnered by chance and bad choices. But he was cunning, witty, smart –handsome. He sat down and in a sing-song voice said, “Can I tell you that, I just love you.” I had sense enough to know that this was a line. It couldn’t have been reserved for me. But the moment he said it, his hand lighted, briefly upon my knee. He was sincere; his touch correct. I was undone. We shared a Physics class and had passed each other in places. But familiar, we were not. Not even to know one another’s names. But the two hearts knew all. It was confirmed as we watched the movie together; the movie that we had not planned to see. Gritty, complicated, intense emotion splayed on the screen. Love, hate, lust, happiness and grief. At some point I tried muffling the subconscious communications with the stranger by shifting and fidgeting in my seat. But the questions were already being asked, silently. Us? It was our own indecent proposal of sorts. But the two hearts didn’t care. They mingled and brushed against each other, kissing wildly, touching, conversing…wrapping fingers in hair. Do you really want that? Can we be that to each other? Even that? On this our first meeting there was no denying the fact. I knew him and he knew me. Forever.

©P.Brooks 9/3/2011

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Jun29

Maybe Baby

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Maybe Baby

I am wondering if I’ll be a good poet if I’m transparent. The reason I ask is because I just want to say whatever I want to say. Must I be highly mysterious for your entertainment? What I’m really after is your reaction. I wanna know if you feel it like I do or if you don’t understand what I’m describing then I want to do it in a way that you can grasp it. I want to let you in on things. I want to let you know that the range of human emotion is deep and wide. Reaching depths and ranges that astonish and excite me. And maybe you too, if you know. Putting down these feelings is serious business. I rebuke what they say! I don’t have to hold it in and be unaffected. I can express it, and be unphased. I can be naked–plank on a page.

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Jun23

Sho Nuff

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Sho Nuff

In the middle of the day I sat down to write. Yep. I called off all the other stuff and sat there. At first my mind was blank and it was way too quiet in the house. But then it came to me and I didn’t hold it back. I wasn’t ashamed that day. So I just sat there and let my fingers put it down. I saw the hideous words going across the screen. They were old and scary things. But I kept on typing until it was out. I ended that scene with a boisterous comment. A nasty, wretched truth. But when I read it aloud it hardly hurt at all. Instead of pain I felt better. That’s when I knew I had tapped into it. I felt my voice coming out for real this time. I just let the words sit there and I didn’t erase them. I didn’t cover them up. No. I hit “save,” and put the computer to sleep. Then I grabbed my keys and went to pick the kids up from school.

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