No. There is none. Really. I thought I had it in the bag — hopping from step stool, to countertop, to inside window ledge with Spider-Man-like agility. Alas it was fake! I guess anyone can step up and down. But I didn’t hear all the creaking that my joints usually do, so I was over confident. Now it’s the a.m. and e- v -e -r- y- t- h- I- n- g aches. Spiderman I am not. Hurt-cules is more like it. Ha!
We need to save money for our big move this fall. So before resorting to become a traveling family circus show to earn extra cash, we decided to stop eating out. It was actually my 9 year-old’s idea, as if she read my mind. I was elated when my middle daughter banded with us. But then my joy went south when the 6 year-old, while wagging his index finger in the air like he does, announced that he would have no parts of the moratorium on carry out. I could understand because the whole lot of them are picky eaters, but he’s by far the worst. A tough sell on anything green, healthy or fresh. I shuddered at the thought of going toe to toe with him over a broccoli sprout. But a second later, I found my spine. “You will eat what the rest of us eat, little boy,” I boomed. “Well, what about Daddy, huh?” he said. “Daddy buys a lot of fastfood.” “Yeah!” both girls chimed in. Okay so they had a good point. Daddy is an admitted Chick-fila and McDonald’s addict. I put my hand on my hips and told the kids to leave Daddy to me. I explained that we’d still eat out for birthdays and maybe once a month for family morale building ( read–when we simply cannot take another roasted chicken).”It’s new house with new digs, or nothing,” I said.
The kids and I stopped eating out cold turkey and it only took Eric two weeks to feel guilty enough to stop his iniquity. Well… I do still see a few charges pop up at Chickfila for $2.69 ever so often. (Must be the cost for a breakfast sandwich). But I don’t confront him about it. It’s not a problem. Why? Because we have saved 400 bucks a month, that’s why! Now 3 months in, that is something to celebrate. So tonight we eat out! Lucky for us it just happens to be Eric’s birthday ;). Speaking of… look who just came from the gym and is making a PB&J– the birthday boy himself. That’s good stuff.
About 4 months ago I had a problem and I didn’t know what to do. So I sought God because I wanted to make the right decision. This wasn’t the first time I’d turned to him for guidance, but this was the first time I’d asked him to speak to me with words. I asked because I had been reading the Old Testament and I noticed that back then when people asked for help God gave them clear signs and instructions. So I thought, he will do it for us now if we but ask. Then I tried it for myself.
One of my favorite scriptures is 2 Timothy 1:7 which says, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” God answered me using that verse. I was washing dishes and self analyzing to figure out why I couldn’t decide what to do about my problem even though I knew what I ought to do. I admitted to myself that I was scared. Too scared to make a move. When I acknowledged the fear God said, “I didn’t give you the spirit of fear.” I heard those words echo through my being and then I knew how to solve my problem. Later on, after I had finished the dishes and gone into another room, my soul lit up! I realized that rather than simply having me recite the scripture to myself, God had actually spoken to me. You see, in the bible Paul is writing a letter to Timothy. So 2 Timothy 1:7 is written in third person. But when the scripture came to me while at the sink, God spoke in first person. He used the word, I, while talking to me. That has never happened before and I will never forget it. Futhermore, I obeyed Him and was blessed.
You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage –pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically –to say ‘no’ to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside.
– Stephen Covey
I don’t know what it feels like to fly. I can only imagine.
I don’t know why these thoughts spark at times random.
To truly be free? Right here on earth?
Then I’ll testify that when fear is cast aside and self removed from worry,
that on my own strength I won’t make it.
That when I acknowledge The Maker. And place my dreams in the hand of He who can take them.
I mean, take me higher.
Than I could ever conceive. Then I don’t dream.
And know– that I know– that I know through God’s power.
Truth inspite of doubt.
Assurance of success at that which makes Him proud.
At that which shines His light
In the world.
Dissipates darkness and communes with spirit.
Better than flight.
This unnatural joy when I
Lord, please help me hold my tongue today
So I don’t say what I ought not say
God help me keep from rolling my neck
When I have mind to disrespect
Who even looks at me wrong
Since they don’t know what’s going on
In my life
It’s not all strife
And I know better than to say
All is lost when things don’t go my way
For you said bless instead of curse
And I knew a time when stuff was worse
But not now
I have breath left yet to sing
Even without a diamond ring
Even without a pot to pee
I can still bend my knee
And bow my head
To you God
It’s not too hard
Yet I fail to follow your request
I’d do my best but come up short by using some excuses
What would I do if it were you who decided to throw up deuces?
Stop my scheming and resisting
I’d embrace my destiny
…So here I am now
Lord send me.
So we are hanging out at a super bowl party this weekend. Should be fun. I love football and in a different life, I’d play the game and be that super fly wide receiver, for sure. But Eric tells me that the girls who play in our neck of the woods are way bigger and meaner looking than me. “I don’t know P,” he said. “You might get hurt.” Tough as I wanna be, I read an article about a local women’s league and decided he was probably right. So this weekend I’m just going to enjoy the game (and the commercials). Then next date is my pick. It’ll be frilly and pink. I like Fugosa for a little wine tasting and dinner. Now E’s no wine connoisseur but if I promise some nearby shopping afterwards, he’s in there!
Our date nights and evenings devoid of children help keep our marriage interesting. What keeps your relationship spicy? Share.
During Mama’s funeral I begged God for mercy. I fully understood all the reasons she had to go. But it was so painful thinking of a world without her. A world she had softened for me (all that she could), a world made better when I thought of her, went home to her, embraced her.
From day one all I can remember is my grandmama loving me, teaching me and showing me everything for this life. She even introduced me to the man himself so I’d have everything for eternal life. I would never wish her to suffer here and I do believe to be absent of the body is to be with Christ. But I hurt because she was gone and because I was still here.
I cried because I had grown up in her home, under her watchful eye and in her love. I had a rich and wonderful childhood even though we didn’t have much material stuff. And it’s not to say we had nothing or that I ever went hungry. No. She worked and God provided. I wept when I realized that I was blessed many times over by having my grandma who acted as a mother and a father, because she was truly that. I didn’t cry because I disappointed Mama in my rebellious years or when I was simply disobedient. I cried because she knew all about me and could have guessed even worse that I’d done. Yet knowing me she still hoped out loud, the best things for my life. Mama prayed for me and continued to love me regardless of my faults.
No one has ever affected me like that woman. Never, never a hurtful or discouraging word from her. Later she even admitted her own mistakes and regrets to me as if I were an equal and guided me to the point where I am today. After grieving I realized that if my grandma being human could love me like that, so wholly and completely, then how much more does God love me? I think that was her point all along. Now I get it. So no more tears. Just joy.
The new year is in full swing and before it gets too far, I think I’d better get some goals down on the internet. I don’t know if having an audience (even of one) can shame me enough into sticking to the list, but I’ll try anything.
1. Come out of the closet. Did I get your attention? I’m a christian and proud of it.
2. Glorify God through my work. More faith based novels, poetry and children’s picture books are on the way!
3. Study the craft. I have a ton of books about writing on kindle and one I checked out from the library.
4. Trust God. Sometimes fear of failure keeps me grounded. It’s time to step out on all fronts.
5. Play with the kids more. We had fun over Christmas break so we are starting family game night and more baking together. Yum!
6. Even more couple time. We have just discovered that we can meet for lunch while the kids are in school. Yeah!
7. Pray about everything and worry about nothing. Think I stole that from Yolanda Adams’ Morning Show, but it’s so appropriate. Everytime I go to God he answers.
8. Eat less junk and more vegetables. I need to get my 5 to stay alive.
9. Walk more. It’s my thing. Just makes me feel good!
10. Read. Nothing like a good book. The Bible is definitely included in that list! Some blow your mind passages in there. Thanks God.
Every now and then I come across a testimony that simply must be shared.
What would you do if you became a new mom and then were diagnosed with cancer?
Read her story for yourself. http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/heather/