Setting: The kids and I were having storytime afterschool one day when suddenly Orion passed gas. That lead to an interesting debate between me, him (5) and his 6 and 7 year old sisters.
Orion: Excuse me.
Me: Excuse you for bumping my arm or did you just poont?
Orion (nonchalantly): I passed gas.
Me (leaning away from him): Orion! Oh my goodness!
Orion (angry): Well I said excuse me. Everybody poonts, Mommy! Including you and Daddy! So why are you acting like that?
Me: Cause you stink, that’s why!
Lauren: Daddy poonts? I have never heard Daddy poont. I don’t believe he does that.
Lainey: Well, Mommy sure does. She stinks too.
Me (nodding): It’s true. I have. Orion’s right, everybody does it. Including Daddy, Lauren.
Lauren: Does God poont, Mommy?
Lainey (smirking): What about Jesus?
Me (thinking out loud): Well maybe when he was here on the earth in human flesh… because that’s what our bodies do. But he’s gone now, right? So not anymore.
Lainey: Yeah, he’s in heaven now. I wouldn’t poont if I was in heaven.
Me: Me neither, Lainey.
Lauren: But does God poont?
Me: I don’t think so, Lauren. They are not human like we are. So why would God do that? I don’t think he would go around lighting up heaven when he can keep it nice with fresh air. No. God, Jesus and the angels definitely do not poont.
Orion (walking around): Well I know for sure that Abraham poonts up there.
Lauren: Abraham Lincoln?
Orion: No, Lauren! You know, Abraham from church.
Me: Are you kidding me? We just said nobody is poonting up in heaven, Orion!
Orion: How do you know? I still think Abraham does. I bet he walks around poonting everywhere. (Orion wiggles his butt like a turkey and makes a pff,pff noise.)
Me: You mean like you do?
Those kids crack me up. They also question everything and challenge me. Here are some of their other mysteries:
Does God like chicken nuggets? If God made everything who made God? Does God sleep? What is the Holy spirit? I don’t mind answering.