Category Archives: Anecdotes

my short stories

Painter’s Delight

Painter’s Delight

No. There is none. Really. I thought I had it in the bag — hopping from step stool, to countertop, to inside window ledge with Spider-Man-like agility. Alas it was fake! I guess anyone can step up and down. But I didn’t hear all the creaking that my joints usually do, so I was over confident. Now it’s the a.m. and e- v -e -r- y- t- h- I- n- g aches. Spiderman I am not. Hurt-cules is more like it. Ha!

Learning to Eat In

Learning to Eat In

We need to save money for our big move this fall. So before resorting to become a traveling family circus show to earn extra cash, we decided to stop eating out. It was actually my 9 year-old’s idea, as if she read my mind. I was elated when my middle daughter banded with us. But then my joy went south when the 6 year-old, while wagging his index finger in the air like he does, announced that he would have no parts of the moratorium on carry out. I could understand because the whole lot of them are picky eaters, but he’s by far the worst. A tough sell on anything green, healthy or fresh. I shuddered at the thought of going toe to toe with him over a broccoli sprout. But a second later, I found my spine. “You will eat what the rest of us eat, little boy,” I boomed. “Well, what about Daddy, huh?” he said. “Daddy buys a lot of fastfood.” “Yeah!” both girls chimed in. Okay so they had a good point. Daddy is an admitted Chick-fila and McDonald’s addict. I put my hand on my hips and told the kids to leave Daddy to me. I explained that we’d still eat out for birthdays and maybe once a month for family morale building ( read–when we simply cannot take another roasted chicken).”It’s new house with new digs, or nothing,” I said.

The kids and I stopped eating out cold turkey and it only took Eric two weeks to feel guilty enough to stop his iniquity. Well… I do still see a few charges pop up at Chickfila for $2.69 ever so often. (Must be the cost for a breakfast sandwich). But I don’t confront him about it. It’s not a problem. Why? Because we have saved 400 bucks a month, that’s why! Now 3 months in, that is something to celebrate. So tonight we eat out! Lucky for us it just happens to be Eric’s birthday ;). Speaking of… look who just came from the gym and is making a PB&J– the birthday boy himself. That’s good stuff.

The Date

The Date
He thought she’d never arrive.  She thought she had nothing to wear.  But once they were together it was worth the wait.  The SALE signs made his eyes dance! Even she was drawn to 50% off tags.  They shopped. They modeled. They flirted. He paid.  He was the perfect gentleman.  All evening.  Opening all doors— for her.  His opening the car door intrigued her most.  She stared intently; one eyebrow raised. "Thank you," she replied.
 
On the way back he became frustrated with traffic. He reached for the gearshift and thrust it into fourth.  Her body jerked as the car surged ahead.  They locked eyes for a second and he smirked.  Show off, she thought.  The speed gave her a rush. 
 
The car’s blue interior light shone on his profile:  Strikingly, seriously handsome. He reached down and caressed her thigh, dragging his fingers across the black fishnets.  She pursed her lips into a mischievous grin.  He shifted again, this time sending the Xenon lights bouncing off the pavement. 
 
"I like your boots,"he said. (The black, kiddo stretch leather, knee high, pointy-toe, 3-inch heel boot screamed, "Like me? Please!")
 
"Thought you might," she smiled.
 
There was only one thing on his mind as they drew closer to their destination.  He made the call.  She handled the phone.  A minute passed, then she spoke.
 
"The kids all want McDonald’s…can you do McDonald’s?"
 
He downshifted, "Sure." 

Old Married Couple

Old Married Couple
He is up at 5:30am, after little rest.  Sharply dressed. I am folding laundry.  He says, "Baltimore."  My pulse quickens.  I ask about dinner, not wanting the answer.  I lie, "It’s okay either way." It’s not okay, because I don’t even want him to leave. It’s that first day of school feeling I get sometimes. Separation Anxiety. He takes the trash in one hand and kisses me;grabs his hat and suits up. Can’t get through the baby gate. We laugh. The downstairs door closes.  I pray.  The house feels empty…