It has been six years. Six years ago today, my mother passed away. I’ll never forget how she waited for me to leave her bedside (or so Aunt Lee said), so she could go quietly. She was at a local Hospice by our choice, body consumed by breast cancer which had spread to other organs, lastly to the brain. I was so sad that day. And today. I miss her and it’s just hurtful. My sister just called to see "how my day went", because that’s what we do on tough days throughout the year. Too many reminders and still no laughter or a wide smile from her; my mother. Oh how I loved her smile! My mother. And funny I never called her mama. Our grandma lived with us and raised us. My mother was young and couldn’t be bothered with younguns. Yet her mother never let her off the hook. They parented us together, and did a wonderful job. I can tell you this, and I won’t cry right now, because she made us naturally strong. I don’t know how, when she mostly took us to the park and braided our hair, Nana did all the spanking and training. But oh, how she loved us! Our mother, loved us in a her own way. We loved her more and could never get enough of being with her, even though she was always there. Not perfect by any means. Yeah she made me mad and disappointed me at times. But she gave birth to me. She held me. She named me. Ever present and my mother…she was.
I got laid off before her last weeks of life. Then I realized it was my turn. God had made a way! I spent 3 blessed weeks by her side. That time with her was such a gift. I cried early on during the three weeks until all of sudden, she asked me why was I crying. I told her I didn’t want to say goodbye. She just smiled and said, "but’s it’s not time to say goodbye." She wiped my tears and I didn’t cry again until the night before her funeral.
There at the right time. Strong when you have to be! That is a mother! What do you know about it?
So…I rejoice! She is with God. I am blessed to have had her for my mom. She helped me see my gifts and talents —where else did I get my love of writing? And that is why I must complete "April Flowers". It is her story. When it hits the stands, read it and you will understand. So my first poem is from my mother.
There is a love, and I have it for you.
Deep, abiding, constant and true.
There is a love— you and I share it
Mother and daughter — who’d compare it?
When you feel all alone and sad inside
Think of your mother, you’ll smile big and wide!
I love you Polly, after all you’re my first.
I hope you love me too— not to would be worst…
There’s so much of you that’s so much of me.
It seems like a dream yet it is reality.
There is a love and I have it for you;
Pure and wholly, tried and true.
WMR (The late Willie Mae Richardson)