On the day that I had my root canal, I woke up thanking God. I had beat the flu and gotten plenty of rest the night before. I had gone to bed early and was able to talk to God. Of course I prayed for the whole world, and I mean I really did. I just wanted God to help each of us to do one nice thing for someone else. Then after thanking him for blessing me, I began to beg (as usual). Of course I want wisdom and premonition when it comes to the children. But I asked for a vision on where he’d like for me to go and what he’d like for me to do. The blessing of writing has been so great that I could only ask him to guide me more. And last but not least I prayed for help while in the dentist’s chair. This previously being a task so awful for me that I would gladly have baby number 4, instead of being terrified by dental pain. Well no more. I woke up praising God that day. I exercised (after a 10 day hiatus), and I had a lovely breakfast and shower while my children and husband slept. I was simply enjoying the life that God gave me. It was so great that I told the devil, "I know you have got to be mad at me today, and I understand." I just had such an arrogant sense of how God makes a way. I can’t put my finger on the one thing that sent me over the edge, but I believe it was mothering. As I was having craft time with the girls the day before my appointment, I realized that I need to see the world through their eyes. Of course they want to play in the glitter glue and paint. Of course they want craft time over learning time. The key is not to trip and pretend they have the self control that easily alludes most adults. So I adjusted my perspective. Then I thought on my wonderful, loving husband who holds it down at work and at home while never letting his children drive me to take residence at the nearest insane asylum. So I thought, why don’t I get with it and spoil him too. I won’t elaborate. Although I don’t neglect the man nor the kids, I sought out to see life through their eyes. There are things I can do to make their stay here a little better. And so on that day that I had the root canal, my first root canal, I wasn’t even scared. I was so relaxed that day. I just looked out the church-style window pane from my dental chair and stared at the empty playground across the street, while I waited for the dentist. I felt that I had been very productive in my housekeeper-wife-mom role, as of late. And it was nothing short of a miracle! That was even before I found out that we can probably afford preschool for one, in the fall. I don’t ask for these blessings. God just showers them down. Like the song says:
Did he bless you?
Did you deserve it?
Have you been so good?
Or is he just good?
Give God High Praise!
…so I did. Oh, and the tooth feels just fine.
Delay is not denial. That is the truth of the day. Just because God hasn’t delivered yet doesn’t mean he’s not going to. Oh he is going to bless you, believe that. You must speak those things that aren’t as if they are. Say it with me, "my children are going to listen. They will behave. The baby is going to sleep. My spouse is going to do better." Whatever it is, speak it. Honestly, it’s the only way I kept going when Orion refused to sleep through the night. I knew God would deliver me. So I dug my heals in a stayed the course. I prayed the other night for help through this "no milk overnight" thing. But I don’t mind worrying God. I prayed that Lauren would go potty after about 9 months of training. And God sent a breakthrough within that week! I know my father in heaven hears my cry. Then he equips me to go to battle. I challenge each of you to cry out to him. Okay, now while you’re begging (that’s the easy part) get yourself in position to receive what God has to offer. You can do it! He is kind and loving and does want to help us and to bless us. So I’m telling everyone I can about his goodness. I was thinking about this morning; how things had been delayed with our book. The publisher has been slow on making corrections among other things. Then I realized, God is going to do it! I immediately perked up. Let me ready myself, I said, so I can be the writer he intended me to be. Oh I feel it now! I am to be an extraordinary writer revealing and reveling in the glory of God! Since I’ve been typing, my sister called to say the final corrections are in for our book. Looks like we are moving forward! All praises to the king! Hallelujah! See there? So what’s your dream? Step out on faith. Here’s an example of what I mean. Right after Lainey’s punishment she called me to help her with something. She said, "Mommy at first you couldn’t hear me calling you, could you? But I knew if you heard me you would come help me." She looked me dead in my eye and asked for what she wanted. No shyness, no tears and no anger. Just trust. Trusting me completely to take care of her needs. That’s how I trust God. Completely.
I know, I’m supposed to go, but I also want to tell yall that I’m still thankful. I’m thankful for a wonderful family and friends that I love. But I am most thankful for a husband who is a real man. I never knew what it took to be a real man until I challenged this brother to step up and be that. Oh we used to have it out about things. The house, the cars, the kids. Whatever. Things were far from bliss. But now since asking God to help me, I am in my rightful place and my husband is in his. I don’t try to run things and he doesn’t treat me mean or take advantage of me. I do my job which is looking after him, taking care of the children and the house. He goes to work, feeds his family, helps with the kids and helps around the house. He even listens (most of the time, but not tonight when he brought me the wrong facial cleanser, even though I said blue bottle, but he thought blue liquid, but I said I’d use it anyway, because I use that stuff too)…But he trys to listen and solve miscellaneous problems as they pop up. And so I have to be thankful. Because that is God. Our marriage wasn’t always this way and we weren’t always in the right roles. But now since being here, where I submit and relax 100%— I trust him to do what God has thrust upon him. I know I am able to fulfil my task because I’m blessed and place in this divine role by the master. We work most times, like a well-oiled machine. And when we don’t, well, it’s rare and it’s life. I suck it up and wash those dishes, if he didn’t for whatever the reason. He gets up, without being nudged if that baby can’t get to sleep (and is subsquently, just KILLING it’s mother). We float in and out as it was intended. There is still fun, romance and true intimacy. That’s the power of prayer, the power of God. God is love and I needed to put it out there. I am thankful.