Tag Archives: Matrimony

Once Upon A Time

Once Upon A Time

It was 18 years ago, today. I was 18 years old. I wish I could say I knew then that he was the one. But when he introduced himself I was smug. Trying to pretend that I was neither affected nor concerned and that I would remain indifferent if he sat beside me or if he moved past. As I already possessed the knowledge of good and evil; garnered by chance and bad choices. But he was cunning, witty, smart –handsome. He sat down and in a sing-song voice said, “Can I tell you that, I just love you.” I had sense enough to know that this was a line. It couldn’t have been reserved for me. But the moment he said it, his hand lighted, briefly upon my knee. He was sincere; his touch correct. I was undone. We shared a Physics class and had passed each other in places. But familiar, we were not. Not even to know one another’s names. But the two hearts knew all. It was confirmed as we watched the movie together; the movie that we had not planned to see. Gritty, complicated, intense emotion splayed on the screen. Love, hate, lust, happiness and grief. At some point I tried muffling the subconscious communications with the stranger by shifting and fidgeting in my seat. But the questions were already being asked, silently. Us? It was our own indecent proposal of sorts. But the two hearts didn’t care. They mingled and brushed against each other, kissing wildly, touching, conversing…wrapping fingers in hair. Do you really want that? Can we be that to each other? Even that? On this our first meeting there was no denying the fact. I knew him and he knew me. Forever.

©P.Brooks 9/3/2011

7 Successful Habits of Highly Reproductive People

7 Successful Habits of Highly Reproductive People

Kids can do a number on relationships between even the most compatible mates. But what, if anything, can you do to keep the romance, excitement and love burning hot in your marriage? The followoing is not a call for more intimacy, but rather a plea for sanity. Drumroll please…

#1 -Ignore the kids. You may want to call the authorities on me, but before you do try this out yourself.  Even if it’s just while they brush their teeth. Choose a  task –any task, and don’t hover. Pop in a short DVD for toddlers who won’t sit down. Take back your freedom a few minutes at a time!

#2-Be a help mate. There’s always a task that would go much faster if you both got involved, like unloading the dishwasher together. Clean dishes can prompt laughter and happy conversation. What else can you two tackle?

#3-Respect each other’s time.  If your spouse is busy then leave him/her alone. It is not couple time. Deadlines and tasks that must be met will only make them bitter if you interfere. Practice the golden rule.

#4- Play switcheroo! Who says you always have to read stories to the kids or he always has to take out the trash? Do the laundry? Cook? Some of my happiest days are when hubby (who can cook, but doesn’t) announces that he is making his famous chili. And don’t let him put hot dogs on the grill. I’m subject to cry.

#5- Do you. No, seriously. DO YOU. Absence does makes the heart grow fonder. If you aren’t taking time for your passion, hobby or some plain old me time, then do it now.  Never aim to neglect your partner, but do have a little fun without them every now and then.

#6- Invite your mate to bed. By bed I mean sleep. Plan a sleep date or just take your honey by the hand and say, “Screw the rest. Let’s go to bed early tonight.” Only include lovemaking if you can end soon enough to get great sleep afterwards. A sleep date can trump a late night romp. While lovemaking is sweet, who couldn’t use some extra zzzz’s?

#7-Cut each other (and yourself) some slack. You’re married with children now! There is no way to always keep up with everything. If the house isn’t spick and span so what? I say a good day is when everyone has on clean underwear and had at least one bowl of cereal for breakfast, lunch or dinner.  You agree? Yeah! Pat yourself on the back then rush out to buy more Fruit Loops.

What tips can you add to the list?

Daydreaming and I’m Thinking of You

Daydreaming and I’m Thinking of You

Strong overtones of incense fill the air, as I climb the stairs leading to our bedroom.  I inhale and simultaneously close my eyes while fresh images of the two of us unfold.  Remnants of a jazz melody plays loudly as I pass through our room; the iridescent comforter lays crumpled atop cotton sheets.  My mind switches to the bath tub.  Candles are put out now and there are no more bubbles floating softly on water.  Something catches my eye, so I lean closer to focus on glittery gold stars on the bottom of the tub. A clue left behind for young minds to ponder.

We locked our bedroom door last night and for a spell, I completely forgot we even had the three of them who were soundly asleep in their beds.  We both laughed at the thought of that.  Yet upon remembering our children — our family— a deeper connection was made.

Spontaneity has been our friend in this marriage. Our rendevous was romantic and totally unplanned.   There are no places or times that are off limits to us and this we’ve learned more so since having the kids.  So in a way they help us.  If not simply by supplying enough stress and tension that only the two of us can understand and then have cause to passionately coax away. 

It had totally been a tough week.  But not a rotten one.  We’d both logged too many work hours without all the work getting done.  Nobody cuts you any slack, especially not our three tenants.  We have to work around all the craziness of the world to find each other and reconnect in our own sanctuary.  It is very necessary.  Totally inevitable.  Completely satisfying.  Angelical bliss. 

The helter-skelter, the chaos…the mayhem, if you will, that is our life is not brought to an end by a fiery Friday night.  For he is gone.  Studying.  And I should be cleaning the house and washing the kids hair today.  And of course I will. Outside time is mandatory on a day so beautiful, no question about it.  Though I still have pending business to handle and an article to write.  But as I go about all I’m to do, I secretly long for him.  One night is not and could never be enough time to spend with my soul mate.  I’m speaking of the one God sent to me, stuck me with and made it so I couldn’t leave although I may have tried to once or twice ;).  And well, if you haven’t found yours yet.  Wait.  God is kind. 

Now I see us under a gazebo in Hawaii.  Aqua green ocean in the background; the scent of seawater in our noses.  Cool, gritty sand oozes between our toes as some unknown minster presides. The wind gently blows the flowers in my hair.  He’s as handsome as ever in an all white tux, with a smooth matching hat cocked to the side.  We say I do and smile. I pull his tie as he dips me in a heavenly kiss…renewing our vows.