Tag Archives: motherhood

When I Stop And Think It Over

When I Stop And Think It Over

During Mama’s funeral I begged God for mercy. I fully understood all the reasons she had to go. But it was so painful thinking of a world without her. A world she had softened for me (all that she could), a world made better when I thought of her, went home to her, embraced her.

From day one all I can remember is my grandmama loving me, teaching me and showing me everything for this life. She even introduced me to the man himself so I’d have everything for eternal life. I would never wish her to suffer here and I do believe to be absent of the body is to be with Christ. But I hurt because she was gone and because I was still here.

I cried because I had grown up in her home, under her watchful eye and in her love. I had a rich and wonderful childhood even though we didn’t have much material stuff. And it’s not to say we had nothing or that I ever went hungry. No. She worked and God provided. I wept when I realized that I was blessed many times over by having my grandma who acted as a mother and a father, because she was truly that. I didn’t cry because I disappointed Mama in my rebellious years or when I was simply disobedient. I cried because she knew all about me and could have guessed even worse that I’d done. Yet knowing me she still hoped out loud, the best things for my life. Mama prayed for me and continued to love me regardless of my faults.

No one has ever affected me like that woman. Never, never a hurtful or discouraging word from her. Later she even admitted her own mistakes and regrets to me as if I were an equal and guided me to the point where I am today. After grieving I realized that if my grandma being human could love me like that, so wholly and completely, then how much more does God love me? I think that was her point all along. Now I get it. So no more tears. Just joy.

You Can Call Me Crazy

You Can Call Me Crazy

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Over the course of 20 hours I’ve managed to purchase 6 pairs of shoes for my three children. I did it. It’s done. I’m alive and so are they. Hurray! 

The first time I tried to buy shoes for all three kids I ended up calling Eric to come help me out at the store. I was in over my head. The kids all needed their feet measured and apparently they did not want to cooperate at all. At the time (about 2 years ago) I had a triple stroller, and I couldn’t get around the aisles quickly enough to get the job done and get out.  Talk about being unprepared.  After that first time I was sore from the abuse they gave and I thought I’d never do it again.

But they don’t call me Polly for nothing.  I’m forever optimistic, even when it’s a losing battle. It’s a sort of self-hazing I put myself through to enter the realm of motherhood… I guess.  Besides, who else is going to buy the shoes? Eric is their father and the vovious buyer of all clothing, even my clothes, everything —except shoes.  When he has picked up a pair of kicks, the kids weren’t with him.  I look on knowingly now, seeing how I’ve been played year in and year out. (It’s all right, he’ll hold down the fort the next time I speed away from the house in our sedan, leaving kids behind and clinging to my last piece of sanity.) Besides, I like getting this sort of  stuff done while the stores aren’t too busy.

All six pairs of shoes came in at $102. My secret? Comparison shop. I have no brand loyalty. Eric looked in Target and Walmart without the kids so I’d know whether to go there or not.  After the anwer was no, I hit up Payless Shoes in the mall and then comparison shopped some more with Penney’s and Sears just in case they had surprisingly good deals. I was able to get some swimming shoes on clearance and other bargains from the department stores. It was a little work since I ended up going out again today to search a different Payless for Orion’s dream tennis shoe, which the other store didn’t have in his size. But we struck out again so, second choice will have to cut it. 

Overall, I’m proud of myself for saving money and getting it done. Choosing things like shoe strings over velcro, clearance styles and early season shopping made all the difference.  The kids are all happy, well until that new shoe smell starts to wear off.  Then it’s back to normal!

What do you think about shoe shopping for yourself or the kids? Is it fun or too much work?

The Mommy Fairy

The Mommy Fairy

Surprising myself, I actually did know my password today and logged in on the first try.  I was a little worried after having taken some mental vacation or something like that from my beloved blog.  So, things have been a little bit crazy with the three kids in school and having parties and other happenings at the same time.  But I don’t care to complain too much.  I just want to be in your presence.

loving preschool

loving preschool

Last week Lauren lost her first tooth.  She was so excited, even though the new permanent tooth was, as she put it, “coming in hard.” And it was.  It hurt my poor little baby for more than a week.  You could actually see the tooth sticking up akwardly behind a few of the others.  She’s only 4 years old.  So I guess it’s true that if they teethe early, they lose teeth early.   The dentist says, my oldest child, Lainey’s mouth is that of a 6 1/2 year old, but she’s just 5.

Well, when Lauren pulled on the baby tooth and it finally came out she was estatic! We had to call Daddy immediately so she could tell him. Then she began her whole fantasy of what the tooth fairy would bring.  Okay, I know it’s seems sort of funny.  I don’t do Santa, but the tooth fairy is on and popping in here…or is she? I’ll explain in a minute.  We’ve done the money under the pillow for Lainey, as she’s lost 6 teeth in all so far. But some nights the “tooth fairy” has forgotten. 

Sometimes, Lainey wakes up the next morning sobbing and distraught because the tooth fairy didn’t come.  When I come to the realization that Eric and I have both forgotten, I tell her to calm down because I’m sure there’s some mistake.  That’s when I tell her to go wait for me in her room then I’ll come help.  It takes a second and then I grab the nearest few coins I can quietly find.  I enter her room and begin a mad search under covers, etc.  All the while the coins are concealed in my hand.  As I’m looking, I make Lainey look too and sooner or later the coins are found right beneath the bed or somewhere nearby.  Then we laugh and hug and I tell her she shouldn’t be such a wild sleeper, knocking the coins out all the time. It works like a charm. I always feel horrible afterwards, but relieved that it worked. I remind myself that that’s exactly why I don’t lie about Santa Claus.  So that’s how I deal with Lainey.  But, little Lauren; well she’s a totally different child.

I didn’t forget Lauren’s tooth fairy money, even though she had asked for a lollipop instead.  And let the record show, I’ve only forgotten Lainey’s money twice.  So anyhow, the tooth fairy gave Lauren the standard 75 cents for that first, precious, baby tooth and Lauren couldn’t wait to tell her preschool teacher that morning.  At school, the teacher asked if the tooth fairy actually came because she tells her kids that sometimes the tooth fairy gets really busy picking up teeth from kids all over the world and she doesn’t always make it that night.  According to her, the kids must keep putting it under there until she remembers, I mean until the tooth fairy comes for their tooth.  So once Lauren was out of earshot, her teacher and I had a good laugh about that.  I also shared my version of explanation when I forget.  Hey! Moms have to stick together. 

So over dinner, I retell this story to Eric and the kids so they will know that sometimes the tooth fairy can’t make it. I wink at E as I think smugly on my instant alibi.  Lauren listens quietly, then calmly says, “Well, you know what I think? I think there can be a Mommy fairy too.”  I did a double take, “Huh?”  I said. She repeated herself in a louder voice, “I said, I think there can be a Mommy fairy too. A tooth fairy and a Mommy fairy. Just incase the tooth fairy gets busy.”  She lifted her nose into the air and smiled at us. I raised an eyebrow, “Is that right?” I asked.  “Uh, huh.” she said, swinging her feet.  I said, “You hear that Eric? So is there a Daddy fairy too?”   “Yep,” said Lauren.  I chuckled, “Okay big girl. We hear you loud and clear.” 

I couldn’t believe it.  Lauren had just told us both— look ,I don’t care if the tooth fairy is or isn’t real — cause you already said there’s no Santa, no mermaids and I’ll never be able to fly like a bird.  So I don’t want to hear that “bleep” about the tooth fairy being busy when I lose a tooth and not giving me my due.  You and Daddy better do what you need to so that I wake up in the morning with a smile and yes… a few coins or a lollipop under my pillow. You dig?

So there you have it.  How ya like them apples?!  She’s four years old, people!  I don’t know how I’m expected to survive this kind of situation.  These kids are something else!

Spoiled for a Spell

Spoiled for a Spell

I’ll be the first to admit that I never pictured or planned this style of motherhood for myself.  I just knew I’d put my all into them and they’d be well cared for.  I couldn’t have dreamed of all I would give up and the many hours of worry I would edure while trying to know if I had made a good decision, the best decision or if they would be all right under my guidance.  I still sit here hoping the world hasn’t warped me so much that I don’t know what to teach my children.  But I digress.  For even though it is hard being a mother —-I’ve had one hell of a week with all 3 of my babies being sick.  Even still, I have really been enjoying the past month and this period of them being 3, 4, and 5 years old.  It’s sweet.  And the reason I’m now calling myself spoiled is because of the two hour window of free time 3 days a week. I have totally been enjoying it. But since it was taken away this weekwhen were all too sick to go to school, I was just looking crazy, wondering if I could survive.  On top of that I had a deadline to meet for Polly&Meek business.  Plus, I didn’t order out on my takeout night because the pediatrician had said to watch their diets closely until they were better.  So I cooked.  Well in all honesty, I complained to E before the illness jumped off and he chose this week to hook me up with some extra help and a couple of meals.  He actually turned the stove on! Of course there was a fair trade involved for those favors.  But not what you think.  Sex is cheap here, instead I had to pay big time by taking the kids out of the house so he could have some downtime —-after I had already spent way too much time with them. 

Sounds crazy but I did it because he did it for me while I sold books two weekends in a row.   Also can’t forget last week when I turned 35 and got surprised big time. He called at 9:30am to say he would come home and get the kids while I went out for a spell.  Unheard of right?  I felt guilty, but I let him go through with it since it was my birthday.  I told Meek the whole thing was such a euphorific high that it gave me a tremendous migraine.  I had to give up on shopping and come back home. Our plans included dinner later, but I eventually cancelled with the babysitter cause I was still feeling so bad.  I took in L in the eating seafood column. Hey, it’s not everyday that your dreams come true.  Oh! It was an awesome birthday!

As for today, Eric dressed and ate quickly this morning and it looked like a gym date, only he informed me that he had to go study.  I did my Scooby-doo sound, then I remembered — oh yeah grad school!  I was growing so accustomed to the extra help and stuff so I didn’t know what to think.  I said, Just take all the time you need and go to the gym to if you want.”  I had totally practiced that line so it wasn’t even hard to say.  You know why I did it?  Cause there’s no such thing as just being spoiled in a marriage.  You’ve got to give some to get some.  It’s easy for me, cause I like where I am right now.  And when all the germs are gone and they’re back to normal I want to enjoy some downtime — by myself!  If I’m happy they’re happy.  Isn’t it the truth?

The Beginning

The Beginning

 Last week Orion and Lauren both cried when they couldn’t go to school and still had to wait while Lainey had all the fun in kindergarten. But no more!  They sung the “going to school song” today on the way to school.  Today was the first full day of preschool (which is only 3 hours).  No mommy and no daddy today, just them rolling with their respective teachers.  The kids didn’t miss us. I couldn’t believe it was actually our two little ones— excited and not afraid to go to preschool for the first time. 

Orion hated me leaving him at camp over the summer and I thought for sure I might have some issues with him today, but no.  He’s not quite 3 yet and is the youngest in his class, but he is ready.  Lauren fakes, shyness but really and truly is quite social.  She has a few worries about school like other children teasing her or being able to sing in front of the class; otherwise she had dreamed of this day for a year now.  Nothing awful happened at preschool so far and it probably won’t.  Yesterday she cried when it was time to go home. Today I wonder if she’ll spread eagle across the doorway so they can’t put her in the car.

I was without them for 2 whole hours today.  I took advantage of the time and went to Lainey’s classroom.  On back-to-school night I’d volunteered to do whatever her teachers needed help with in the class, while they handled the whole bunch of five-year-olds.  God bless ’em.  After what I saw today —wouldn’t want that job.  I don’t think I have the patience. If I have to turn to substitute teaching in a few years, it just may kill me.  Maybe I could start with grade 2.  Before I knew it school was over and it was time to leave. Lainey and I arrived at home with a full hour to spare before picking up the other two from their paradise.

So with everyone in school but me, it feels sort of  weird.  The kids keep asking me when am I going to go to class like daddy does.  I told them I didn’t know.  I am still considering taking another writing course this fall.  But school, it definitely is not.  Honestly, I’d love a masters in journalism, creative writing, English or whatever people who love to write get an advanced degree in.  But it’s just not the right time for me.  I need all my dependants in full time school before I zoom in closer on that goal. So for now it’ll be just a class here and there. More learning and honing of skills is a must.  I know that now after inquiring about contributing articles to various ezines and being asked for a resume and writing samples.  Hmm. Seems I better get to work.

And so it begins…

Goodbye July

Goodbye July

Summer always seems to fly by once the 4th comes and goes.  Now that camp, which a friend of mine likened to “Manna from Heaven,” is over we’ll be embarking on August soon.  School lists are posted and supplies are on sale in every discount store around.  Seeing all the paper, crayons, glue and scissors makes me as excited as it did when I was a girl.  Now I can share it with my lovelies. They can’t wait to shop!  Ooo, I hope Eric doesn’t call from Target today asking me what stuff they need.  He was eying watercolors in the sale paper yesterday.  I could fake amnesia, since I only glanced at Lainey’s list, but he’d just wing it.  True shop-a-holics learn this skill in the intro class, I think.

Still, there is a little hesitation in my soul about everybody leaving the house this fall.  It’s faint, but there all the same.  I’m holding back due to trepidation for them.  Two of them don’t seem to have much fear.  But the baby, well you know.  He’s my baby.  Part of me wants to shelter all of them from the world, even though I know they were born to become a part of it. They’re supposed to help make it better. But wanting them to be different than most of what’s practiced in the world is enough to drive any parent crazy.  I am no exception.

Although school starts in September here, August will forever be the end of summer for me.  In NC we’d go back as early as the second week in August.   Of course the college semester always starts next month; after five years of that I’m pretty much programmed. I’ll just have to take it in stride now, and not lament any more.  An early ending to our typical mayhem will prepare us sooner.  It is surely going to take order and lots of prayer to see us through the great transition ahead.  It’s as serious to me, as if I were going back to work in an office away from home. 

I’m looking forward to a great start.

On Potty Training

On Potty Training

 

Sweet Victory

Sweet Victory

Orion is fully potty-trained now and perfecting his technique of standing up. I can’t say this is one of the joys of motherhood as the little one has to still work on grip and aim—there have been some awful bathroom incidents between mother and son where I’ve screamed cause he was peeing on me and everything else while wielding that thing like a weapon; during which time I also yelled  for Eric to come get him and re-instruct him on the art. But at last it seems the worst is finally behind us.  He has been wearing underwear since March, just one week shy of turning 2 1/2.

It feels so good to be diaper free.  Now there’s an expense I’m glad to be without. More testimony to how well God planned our three children.  I am completely done with potty training all of them in just 4 years.  Woo-Hoo! On top of that Orion is able to go to preschool in the fall because he can pee-pee like a big boy.  They don’t change diapers at his school.  Tonight I’m blogging to share a few tactics I used to get them all trained.  I did the same thing with each child.  I’m only going to give you the things that I really think worked.  The rest is useless.  But first let me say this, mothers (especially when training your boys) please do not freak out like I did when your children accidentally start whizzing everywhere while trying to aim for the toilet.  My girls too, had to learn to close their legs while sitting on the potty due to what we call “spraying out.”  Spraying out has been responsible for more than a few unbelievable accidents where pee shoots over or under the rim wetting everything in it’s path.  So remain calm and try out these tips if  you need help with potty training.  Incidentally, I trained my son to sit on a potty using a deflector cup first.  Then I sent him to daddy for the stand up part. Here goes:

1. Start training when they understand directions.  If you can tell them to complete a task and they do it even though they can’t communicate back, that means that cognitively they’re ready. Mine could do this at 15 months old so I start training at 18 mths.

2.Give them the steps. Example, “First you sit on the potty, then you pee-pee on the potty.” Use books to help with the steps as well.  This is also a good time to talk about who else goes potty. Here are some awesome books to use: It’s Potty time, Once Upon a PottyRuby’s Potty and Potty Time.  I got most of them at the library. One mom also said DVD’s were very effective for her son. 

3. Learn their potty schedule.  You’ll need to know about when to put them on it.  Don’t expect them to tell you they need to go just because they can talk.  Help them get used to going to the potty so you can work toward them telling you when they need to go.  First thing in the morning is usually a sure bet.  But, do not force them to sit on the potty.  This can cause defiance.

4.Repetition. Don’t give up.  You really do have to train your child to go potty.  It’s not going to happen overnight.  They have been trained to wet a diaper instead of staying dry, remember?  So stick with it help them over and over again. Repeat yourself one trillion billion gazillion times.

5. Have a potty party.  Put a small potty in your bathroom and when you go, invite your child to sit on her potty too.  It helps them see what you mean.  If they have siblings use the siblings too (if allowed).  If they don’t have siblings, each time they fill a diaper take it to the potty/toilet to dump it.  Then tell them, “Poop goes in the potty, not in your diaper.  See?”

6. Rewards.  Put stickers, candy or both near the potty so they can see it, but not have access to it.  Once they sit on the potty and try, give them a “good-try” sticker.  If they succeed in tinkling then after they wash up, reward them with a sticker and a small piece of candy. Do this every time they try and every time they succeed. I used chocolate kisses and jelly beans.  What’s a little extra tooth brushing when they’re learning to stop pooping in their diaper?

7. Give them praise.  Even when they aren’t on the potty just tell them how proud you are that they are trying to learn. Name all they family members who are proud of them too.

8. Bribery.  I know, it’s awful, but it worked for me.  Each of our children were promised a huge Christmas-like toy or something they really wanted badly once they were fully trained.  We’d keep reminding them every few weeks by saying, “You want that XYZ, don’t you? Then go potty and Mommy and Daddy will buy it for you.”  The girls each got their ears pierced and a $10 shopping spree at Claire’s (yes 2 year olds understand this). The boy got a basketball hoop. 

9. Put them in training pants (aka cotton underwear).  This is where me and alot moms disagree.  First I use pull-ups a while; normally for 3 to 6 months (we all know how expensive they are). Then I switch to real underwear once the child turns 2 years old.  My goal at that point is to  get them to actually say potty before they wet themselves and without me needing to guess when they have to go. So I resist the urge to put them on the potty.  I let them figure it out, so to speak.  If I need to go out of the house once we’ve entered cloth underwear stage, then I put a pull-up on them or plastic coveralls if I remember to do it.  I have tried underwear and had to go back to the pull-ups for about a month.  Then I put them into underwear again and never look back.

There is alot of clean up involved with this method. I stack pee-pee undies in the washer until nighttime when I wash a whole load.  The poop get dumped from the poopy underwear and then the underwear are put into a plastic bucket with hot water and oxy-clean.  After they’ve soaked a few hours, I wear rubber gloves to scrub and rinse them. Then I toss them in with the pee-pee undies for a  good washing.  Any spillage onto a floor anywhere gets cleaned up immediately with woolite or bleach and a scrubbing tool or mop. No smells or stains remain.

10.Buy multiple potties.  Eric’s grandma recommended this.  It was a great idea.  I put a potty on my middle level where there isn’t a bathroom.  Accessibility gave my kids no excuse not to go.

11.Pray.  No, seriously. Pray.  It works.

Potty training is no joke.  It is hard to persevere when you have other little ones depending on you.  I know.  We are talking serious, serious work and a process that takes 6 to 9 months, in my opinion. And if  you believe boys take longer to train than girls, I would start earlier with a boy.    Although most children can understand what to do when they turn 3, remember there may still be a learning curve. Would you rather clean it now or later? Some people are fine with later.  There are also times during training when your child makes great progress only to regress completely and you don’t know why.  No matter. Just suck it up and start with the basics again.  You’ll see progress again soon.  By the way, I know all about punishment for children while potty training such as having them wash their own soiled underwear or spanking them.  I don’t believe those methods work for most children and I would stick to the positive techniques only. 

I’m open to any questions that you might have.  Post a comment or email me directly. Many blessings!

Happy Kids

Happy Kids

Backyard show down

Backyard show down

 

We kicked our summer off with a box of Pop Ice and a pack of $3 mini water guns.  Oh what fun it’s been.  My children commented the other day that they love being kids.  That moment was another one of those infrequent, highly coveted “rewards” that make a mother feel so good.  Who cares that to get it, I let them play in a red, dusty baseball field while I flew their kite?  They didn’t care, because they were digging for treasure out there while I was having ups and downs that changed with the wind.  It was awesome.

I’m going all out with the three of them when it comes to playing because I want them to experience the joy I had growing up.  Without all the money to buy this or that and go here or there.  So yesterday, they asked for silly music to just dance around the house.  Then they took it to the next level and dressed up according to what type of music was playing.  When the girls donned there ballerina outfits (which consisted of a body suit one of my friends bought and a $1 tutu I bought at Target) they wanted to know if I had one when I was a little girl.  I told them no.  And that we didn’t have lots of things.  No Atari game system, no cable for most of the time, not many brandnamed clothes, etc.  So they said, “You were poor?”  I said yes and no.  We didn’t need any of that extra stuff and most of the time didn’t even want it.  On top of that we never missed any meals, played everyday, felt incredibly loved everyday and we would splurge on Easter and Christmas.  We lived with our mother, grandmother and our grand Aunt.  There were no disconnects of electricity or utilities.  We rented for years and were never evicted. When we got our one winter coat, it was a Rothschild or something like that from a department store.  The rest of the time we wore second hand and hand-me-down clothes. Our toys were ample.  And according to my Aunt, too much of a mess. So yes we were poor but we were happy.

Really and truly children don’t need all that we think they do.  I told my girls they have more than me and their dad had growing up, but we aren’t rich and don’t need to be.  (In other words, stop begging for stuff cuz you ain’t getting it).  I do say this in the store when they ask for things.  “It’s not your birthday and it’s not Christmas, soooo…”  Most of the time they just ask for whatever it is for their birthday because they know what I’m going to say.  Summer is the only time they usually come out with a few more playthings because we won’t buy them until they can enjoy them outside.  Anyhow, extra toys that get bumped by something new end up recycled, reduced or reused the next  year.  So they don’t get to have too much crap at one time. (And it’s still too much!)  I think I need to do another clean sweep right now.  Happy kids play with what they have and happy parents keep their money in their pockets.  For the most part!

Freeze pop time

Freeze pop time

 

The First Day of Summer Camp

The First Day of Summer Camp

Yesterday was the first day of camp for my 4 and 5 year old girls.  Like normal, I overdid it on worrying and spent too much time prepping for the first day which flew by like lightning.  But…those are my babies.  It was supposed to be all three children, but Orion’s camp got canceled due to under enrollment.  Poor Orion was completely out of his element without his sisters there to help entertain him yesterday.  I felt sorry for him, but he didn’t complain about it alot.  He didn’t play much at the playground. There was a letter board amongst the playsets which I used to spell his name and he insisted that I spell Lauren’s and then Lainey’s name too.  My heart went out to him.  At home he only he was missing them. 

The girls had everything they needed and had no anxiety when I dropped them off.  I don’t even think they looked up when I left.  I was a tad concerned about Lauren since it is her first time being in a setting like this for more than 30 minutes.  I started her out last year with classes here or there to warm her up to the idea of being left alone.  Last year took some adjusting.  She was fine this time around.  I wasn’t sure if camp would meet the very critical Lainey’s expectations or if compared to preschool she’d think the day was too long. There are three hours for preschool but five hours of camp. I was pleasantly surprised when I picked them up.  Lauren was very excited to see me and they both seemed relaxed and comfortable with the staff.  No complaints.

On our way to the car Lainey started talking about how great  it was and never really stopped talking about it for the rest of the day.  Lauren had very little to say although she agreed it was fun.  At one point Lainey got quiet (after about an hour straight) and Lauren finally told me one aspect about her day that she enjoyed.  Then she popped her thumb back into her mouth and went on her way.  I was surprised because Lainey is the shy one and Lauren is more social.  But Lauren doesn’t really talk that much and Lainey could talk all day, if she’s comfortable with you.  They fascinate me. I keep trying to rise to the challenge of knowing their personalities and figuring them all out.  This is important to me.  I want to cater to their style and know ho w to raise them.

It wasn’t easy letting them go for that long for the first time.  All sorts of worries crept in my head but I was determined not to hold my children back due to my own fear. So I kept my cell phone extra loud and checked it often to be sure I hadn’t missed a call.  Orion and I stayed busy and I always felt as though I had lost or forgotten something because I was traveling so very light without the girls. But on an honest tip, I felt really good and looked forward to next week when I might have a minute of solitude from all three kids.  I was certainly more effecient and less stressed while I ran errons.  Even when we got home for lunch there was more ease about everything that needed attention.  Wow! I didn’t know it would be like that.  Now, it’s day two and I’m hoping all the good feelings continue.

My Babies Are Growing Up

My Babies Are Growing Up

 

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Lauren just turned four last Sunday and over the weekend Orion turned 2 1/2. Age probably doesn’t mean much right now but Lauren says she’s ready to be bigger so she can do more things independently and Orion keeps reminding us not to call him baby.  It’s strange since  most of the time I have to hold him as he whines and acts like a little baby with a large vocabulary who is also fully potty-trained.  It confuses the heck out of me.  The girls weren’t as affectionate at 2 1/2.  Although I want to cherish our time together, there are times when I need Orion to act his age (and walk) so I can get a few things done around here. 

Last night he spent his first night in his big boy bed.  He looked so cute all tucked in under his truck and car themed blankets, but the empty crib tugged at my heart strings so much I had to look away.  This is a milestone for Orion (middle name, Xavier) who also says do not call him Ox for short anymore.  I should be happy.  Believe me I want to have peaceful rest and for him to get up in the morning without putting us all on blast because he can’t get out of his crib to go potty.  And the new bed may not even solve that problem since he pees standing up and needs a stool to reach the toilet. Aww, who am I kidding?  He’ll figure out how to fly solo by the fall, if that long.  He’s a pretty fast learner.

Meanwhile, I have my two baby girls back. Both vying for attention and needing to be held and cuddled as well.  I have to prepare myself because Lauren (and Orion too) will go to preschool in the fall and Lainey starts kindergarten.  I’m excited for some free time in which to write, but don’t want to feel like I’m rushing them out of the house — even though it’s time for them to go.  I’m a basket of mixed emotions.  Don’t know how much to expect them to do or what to hold back from them at times. 

I don’t know why I’m trippin’.  I shouldn’t even be at this point.  A couple of years ago I was doing great just mothering by instinct then gradually I became worried I wasn’t doing enough.  Now I think it’s time for me to go back to my basics.  Using my instinct works and that way I don’t over think how to manage them.  Cause I’m just like any other millenium mom, “I don’t want to mess them up.”  I pray that prayer often, “God please don’t let me mess them up.” 

I am richly blessed to have time to spend with my children and then turn around and blog about it.  So I may as well keep enjoying my cuddle/baby time with each one of them and not feel guilty at all.  Life could change in an instant with school and work and I’d be longing for these days.  The simple plan is to make sure they are developing appropriately for their ages without me being to hard or too soft.  I’m sure the terrfic three will help me figure it out!

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