Tag Archives: mothers

Where I’m At

Where I’m At

It’s another scorcher today. Something like 95°. Such a hot way to welcome in spring.  I was caught off guard and had to bust out some capri’s on Saturday only to recall that I hadn’t, er, tightened things up in the hairy legs department.  Thank God they were long capri’s.  But the spring weather always prevails.  So with that in mind after sleeping in a little, I got up and did my thing in the shower on Sunday morning.  All areas are as smooth as can be but I’m rocking jeans today cause these legs are much too pretty for anyone but my man.  Well, that plus the fact that I need to go shopping for shorts. 

I had actually planned to throw on an old pair of shorts to go outside and de-weed my frontyard.  I’m talking gloves, garden tools, big hat and all, while the kids play in the sprinkler.  But now that I have a slight headache, I’ve retreated to my bedroom/office and bribed the children with The Backyardigans.  Yes, I know it’s science day and I’m an awful mother, but I got a migraine last week when I didn’t chill out soon enough.  I’ve convinced them that we’ve plenty of sunshine left in the day and they can still come out with me after my break.  They weren’t exactly all understanding. When I said, “Just watch this for a little while, until I’m feeling better”, Orion responded with, “Are you crazy?”  That’s what I get for asking them that same question when they misbehave.  I can just see him in preschool this fall. The teacher will say come sit down for circle time and Orion will ask her, “Are you crazy?” I shake my head. 

They are my children. And apparently just mine.  I say this because I just got off the phone with their father, whom I asked to watch the two little ones for me next week so I can go to the Mother’s day Tea with Lainey.  He’s going to do it but says the the Tea coincides with a day he had planned for himself. So he’s going to reschedule his day.  Are  you kidding me? Watching the kids for 45 minutes to an hour out of a day when you’re already home messes up everything and you need to reschedule?  Men are a damn trip.  But it’s all right.  I’m not even getting all sentimental, hurt and upset like I would normally.  I even almost laughed.  Thank God he’s the daddy and not the mama cause I don’t know what he’d do.  

Men are so hardcore and great in many ways.  But as my husband reminds me — don’t get it twisted.  This isn’t their speciality and they can’t compare to mothers.  They expect us to keep that super woman cape on straight and crisply ironed.  Then be able to strip it off along with the rest of our clothing to reveal perfectly maintained, volumptuous bodies; ready, willing and able to perform any tricks they conjure up.  And although some will take you —hairy legs and all, most of us don’t want THEM unless they put in a little quality time.  So E, don’t be telling me how you need to get away from me and the kids and then later asking me if I can wear that new little, hot number I just bought for you.  Cause, I’ma put that in the back of my lingerie drawer and you can see me in this long cotton tee and plain cotton pants!  All right? (And no, hell no, ladies.  I don’t deprive. It’s against my religion.)

So now that I’ve gotten that off my chest.  Perhaps I am better and I’ll do a little reading for the last 30 mintues of my break.  See ya!

Dirty Laundry

Dirty Laundry

This is what I almost sent to the group:

Yes, as Vicki said, I am standing by to help anyone in need of assistance with their yahoo group email.  It is unfortunate that our support group account has turned into a war of words.  I’m subject to go into yahoo right now, change all passwords and turn the whole thing off.  But that would clearly be an abuse of power.  And since I do love being a part of the group, I didn’t mean it, yall. I swear.

We could probably learn to skip emails we don’t want to read (one of your friends will fill you in if you miss something).  We are savvy enough to reply only to the person intended (so as to reduce email traffic).  And we are courteous enough to keep mean comments, really long emails (except this one) and negativity out of our group.  If anybody proves me wrong, don’t be surprised if your account mysteriously stops working one day.  Oh, gosh darn it, there I go again!  But don’t hit delete yet…

Vicki and Liz are doing a wonderful job this year!  We are having a great time, bringing in new members and I’m looking forward to our next outing.  All moms are welcome to participate in group activities— whether working outside the home, not working at all, part-timing, or working from home.

It’d be awesome if we all came together for a little fun at Mom’s night out.  (And no, we are not going to turn the skating rink into Roller Derby or anything like that!  Although I would clearly be a member of the “Secretaries of Hate.”  (I read it in the paper that they are a real roller derby crew in the DC area).  BTW–  Are you are golfer or a skater?  I may need to know ahead of time.  Responses are welcome, but only reply to me okay?

Peace and love,


Secretary (at least ’til morning)

Disclaimer:  If this was offensive to anyone, I will apologize just like they do on TV, only I’ll be sincere.